A shining beacon of freedom arose early sunday morning, september 18th 2011, remembering the epic endeavours of last night. Waking up in a pink dress accompanied by an empty bottle of vodka, owner still unknown, my hair still hard, shiny and fabulously coamed backwards, I realized what opportunities await me here in Uppsala. This is exactly why I moved to the hip and trendy land of the partyswedes. I will share my experiences, knowledge and pure awesomeness with you in this weekly blog.
Famous for not only its large population of very blonde and beautiful women, but also its history of Vikings, Sweden revealed itself to me last night at Rackarbergsgatan 26. While we’ve all likely encountered the daily levitation of hangovers, today was truely badass. Well now, let me tell you about this phenomenon called the faceplant. Imagine a girl, let’s call her Annie, beautiful and shitfaced out her mind. Now, imagine her playing a drinking game called Faceplant. The rules are: get drunk, fall down and hit your head on the wall, preferably in a elegant and sophisticated way. Then there is a panel of judges, that grade your faceplant on a scale from one to awesome. I scale this particular one: awesome times the number of shots I did.
I also discovered a new and voguish way of increasing your level of attractiveness. Even with poor make-up and a german nationality, you could still look fastidious, if you wear hip, leopardpatterned decorative glasses. I’m serious, this will totally revolutionize your social status. And if you really want to push it the limit, make out with another girl and preferably grab her tit. This will surely make you the center of attention.
Everyone knows that I kind of know everything about fashion and art, but few recognize my talent for picking out good, high cultural music. “Das geht ab” & “Friday Fahrenheit” were truely magical moment makers last night. Nobody was able to resit dancing with me. Naturally, I know I’m awesome, but after last night, so does everyone else.
Now, looking towards the future, what can you expect from this magnificent piece of elegance, called Longboards and Latté? I found myself two fab, highly attractive reporters, Heming and Erwin, willing to chronicle my rise and fall in the land of unlimited, graceful beauty.
Check in next sunday for your weekly fashgasm. That’s what WE said!
Ciao!
PS. Any request for an interview is of course welcome. So is fanmail and critcal, but constructive, honest feedback.
Longboards and Latté 